I honor your survival

I honor your survival.
I believe your survival.
I am in awe of your survival.
I support your survival.
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I know that the word “survival” is past tense and sometimes you are still surviving.
I know there aren’t enough strong supports and soft places.
I know it can feel incredibly alone and too fucking hard and painfully endless.
I know it is tiring. So so tiring.
I see you keeping going.
I see you stopping to rest.
I see you itchy and struggling to pause, to receive rest.
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I honor and hold and bow to your experience. To the late nights and bitter resentment and fearful holding. To the adaptive coping mechanisms you needed and wish you didn’t need any longer. To the weariness that pulls on your heartsleeves. To feeling misunderstood and out of place, where is my place, where is my story’s place? To all it takes to survive, to keep surviving - I honor and hold and bow to all of that.

Somatic & Emotional Flashbacks

• You can experience flashbacks even without tangible memories, thoughts, or visuals.

• Flashbacks can be emotional, somatic, and visceral.

• If you experience flashbacks without memories, your experience is valid.

• If you experience flashbacks through body sensations and waves of emotion, your experience is valid.

• Your flashbacks are valid.

• Your sensations are valid.

• Your emotions are valid.

• Your experience is valid.

If you have ever opened a book on trauma, or clicked on an IG post, and read about flashbacks - you might have seen a common narrative that equates flashbacks to memories.

And if you have memories of your traumatic experience/s, perhaps this parallel resonated with you.

But if you are one of many people who remember traumatic experiences somatically, if you don’t have all of the "who, what, when, where" puzzle pieces, you might have felt left out or invalidated. You might have wondered: Is the full-body shaking and the tears that landslide while I’m trying to fall asleep not a flashback? Is the terror that freezes me while sharing intimacy (or encountering a certain smell, or being around a certain person) not a flashback? Perhaps deep in your bones you know you are experiencing flashbacks, but it can be tricky to feel validated when your narrative is more nebulous than tangible.

You’re not alone. For many survivors of trauma, emotional and somatic flashbacks and flooding are a common experience, even if they can be hard to talk about.

Though the body can hold what happens to us, the body can also repress traumatic events. And there is wisdom in that. If you don't remember the details, there is wisdom in that. If your memories are somatic and visceral, there is wisdom in that.

It can feel problematic when other folx and practitioners want these details, request them, require them. But not knowing them doesn't make your experience any less valid. It doesn't.

Your sensations are valid. Your emotions are valid. Your flashbacks are valid. Your experience is valid

There is something deep inside of you that knows, and something deep inside of me that believes you.