Common Misconceptions about the Safe & Sound Protocol (SSP)

The Safe & Sound Protocol is a big piece of my work in the world, and today I was reflecting on the ideas folks have about the SSP before they begin, and what might be more true of their experience.

Read on and I will share a few of the misconceptions as well as my experience as a facilitator, and some reflections from folks I lead through this sound and nervous system healing journey.

😌✖️ You need to be passive, still and settled (like meditation) for the SSP to work.

👟🎨 You don’t need to be still or meditative to listen. You get to move your body, snack, puzzle or make art, stretch, etc. A big focus of the SSP is about being in our present moment experience and following the cues from our body and nervous system. Sometimes people think they need to be still/surrendered/lying down/calm to listen. But you don't! What do my clients do while they listen? Here's a short list of what people feel inspired to do:

1. Hang out with plants, nature, or animal friends

2. Organize, tidy or clean (I always joke they can come over to my place next)

3. Make art (we've had stitching, painting, crocheting, knitting, doodling, drawing and more)

4. Swing in a yoga swing

5. Cozy up on the couch or chair

6. Snack (one of my fave SSP activities - my body got hungry!)

7. Let activated energy move through walking, pacing, shaking and somatic practices

8. Turn to puzzles, fidgets, or other soothing activities

💎✖️ The music is similar to frequency healing or sound baths.

🎷🎼 The music has a special filtration and comes in different playlists and genres, but it often doesn't sound "different" to folks, even though the filtration sets it apart from what you might hear on the radio. It kind of sounds like what you'd hear on the radio, or in a yoga studio.

You can choose from cover songs, kids songs, classical, healing vibes or funky ambient tunes. There are instrumental and vocal playlists. Songs you will know, and songs composed especially for the SSP (this is helpful when we have negative associations with certain songs). You will get to choose what playlist to listen to, you can see the playlists before we begin, and I will help you find the right fit!

😰✖️ The experience will be really intense or overwhelming.

🌸🌖 I often say the SSP is “gently turbulent”. Yes, there are rocky moments, but it’s often the easiest healing modality folks have tried and they’re surprised that a lot changed without overwhelm. You don't need to dig into your trauma experience, although your shares and stories are welcome.

Folks often find me and the SSP after trying modalities that were too intense. The SSP is effective and impactful, but it really is gentle. It’s my job to help you have a gentle enough experience, and it's also my job to offer support when things feel too hard. Plus, many of my clients also see a therapist and having another space to process and receive support is highly recommended.

"Jess did a wonderful job facilitating our group and creating a space where everyone was encouraged to show up as they were. I enjoyed the SSP process and found it helped me relax, find more ease in my day, and rebound faster from stress. I highly recommend it and would do it again." - SSP Participant

1️⃣✖️ Listening on your own is just as effective as with a facilitator.

💞🎧 I know I’m biased, but listening within a group or 1-1 container means you have access to support, co-regulation and tools that might not exist on your own.

I did my SSP journey in a group and it added so much to my experience. On my own, I might have "gone through the motions" or listened really quickly. I might have missed out on being mirrored, hearing my shares reflected back to me, and learning somatic practices. I also might not have finished the SSP or gotten as much out of it. Left to my own devices, I can be very "girl dinner"/whatever. But something about being in a group, even though it's not your job to take care of the group, can help us show up for ourselves, too!

When you experience the SSP virtually, you get to be in your own space, with your own tools and creature comforts! You have the support and co-regulation of me as the facilitator, and your group mates if you choose to join a group. But you also have so much freedom to be out of camera view when being perceived is a lot and to explore your space while listening.

In my SSP group when I was a client, sometimes I wandered around my apartment; sometimes I was right in front of my computer; sometimes I rolled my chair out of camera view; sometimes I curled up on the couch.

“Part of what I loved about the SSP was Jess’s invitation to show up exactly as we were. Just before SSP began, I experienced some trauma in a group setting and felt hesitant about the group dynamic of this process. I was able to show up completely nonverbal and in tears the first day, and felt warmth and welcomed in this experience." - SSP Participant

If you have been feeling drawn to an SSP group or 1-1 experience, you can apply right here and book a connection call to feel out if a 1-1 or group experience would be best for you.

Not ready to apply yet? Click here to read all about how I offer the Safe & Sound Protocol.

If being in your body feels hard

We live in our bodies. Our nervous system is housed there. So, of course, when a traumatic thing happens, and after it happens, it can feel hard to inhabit your body, and hard to partner with your body in healing.

It can be challenging to connect with body sensations, and I get why we wouldn’t want to connect with body sensations. They're not always pleasant. So many of us live with chronic pain (always and perhaps especially now as covid continues on).

So many of us are taught not to be with or in our bodies by capitalism and even just our own sheer survival strategies (one of those things is brilliant, the other keeps me up at night, okay they both keep me up at night but you get it lol).

But what happens when we're healing and we're told to be with our body and listen to our body? When we're asked what we feel in our body and where and how we know this and we come up short, fuzzy, blank?

If connecting with your body is a goal that feels impossible to reach, but you know it's a critical key to your healing, I want to offer this:

Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's possible.

There's nothing wrong with you if connecting with your body feels frustrating and fruitless.

There are wise reasons for this. Maybe it's that disconnection is an effective survival strategy. Maybe it's that so many people whisper yell at you to feel your body without offering any baby steps to get there.

If you want to connect with your body and you also know that very topography and inner landscape often feels both tender and tumultuous, I want to offer that there are so many doorways into connection, and often our hand on the knob is acknowledging we want to do it and we don't know how yet.

There are many paths to partnering with your body in healing (without bypassing that sometimes we feel less like pals and more like frenemies). Here are a few from me to you.

I've opened a few Somatic Resourcing Session packages if 1-1 sessions to connect with your body (and all that can come up along that journey) sounds like what you've been craving (and maybe a lil apprehensive about - that's welcomed, too!)

​LAND, the Somatic SSP Experience, is enrolling for 2 new cohorts. One beginning mid-July; the other in September. The SSP (Safe & Sound Protocol) is also a journey of being present with your body and sensations, and music is the doorway. If you're intrigued, you're welcomed to read more and even apply for your spot.

And for my babes and buds with businesses, I'm elated to hold space for the spreadsheety-markety-systems piece of having a business AND the somatic experience, too. Being in biz is a lot, especially these days. I wanna support you! That can happen right here.​

Okay friends. So glad you're here. Sending you and your body some tenderness today.

Jess

P.S. This was written while listening to Joan Shelly radio. Highly recc The Push and Pull and Haven.

Healing Can Be Destabilizing, Too

In the beginning, healing can be so destabilizing. It can exacerbate symptoms, heighten anxiety, make space for big overwhelming emotions.

So if you feel like you’re going backwards, know that this can be part of the process.

It can feel unfair to be met with shaky intensity when we’re trying to recover from a traumatic event that destabilized us. But healing can be cyclical, spiralic, a swirl of beginnings, middles, and ends that aren’t even ends. So the intensity isn’t strictly the stuff of beginnings.

You might periodically feel destabilized, sucker-punched by waves of grief that take the breath from your lungs and drop you to your creaky knees. These dips and rises might not change, but our ability to be with the dips and rises, our ability to be gentle with ourselves, to turn to our tools and ask for support - this might change, and can make a hard process a little easier.

Keep going. Keep resting. You’re doing great and it’s so normal to feel like you’re not.

jess

I AM NOT A HEALER

I️ AM NOT A HEALER.

I’m a spaceholder, facilitator, sometimes-guide and more-often follower, and deep deep listener.

But I️ AM NOT A HEALER. You are your own healer.

We don’t need anyone else to heal us (even though I get that it’s tempting) because how could they?! Other people are not you. Not in your body or life experiences. And everything you want to heal from is trying to show you something. Maybe in the most irritating or heartbreaking or life-disrupting way, but it’s trying to show you something. And that message is for YOU.

In my client work it’s so important to me that I’m not in this holier-than-thou I️-have-all-the-answers-just-pay-me-and-you-can-have-them-too place. It’s really not about me. I️ mean, I’m great, but I’m great in that your session is about YOU. Your body, your sensations, your story. Your pace. Your process.

I️ AM NOT A HEALER, I️ am a witness as you reach for healing. I️ am stepping back so you can do your sacred work. I️ am this lantern next to you as you stumble along your path, but it is YOUR path and guess what - you’re the fucking moon.

You are your own healer and you’re the fucking moon.

Take care, self-healers. You’re doing the damn thing. Don’t forget it.