How can traumaversaries impact us?
Hi friends,
I am writing to you today about traumaversaries. Did I make up that word? Maybe. It’s just trauma + anniversary, gently smushed together. These tricky little beasts (I say that mostly lovingly) can affect many spheres of our lives. As a survivor, writer, and trauma-informed educator, I am honored to share a bit about how traumaversaries can touch us. This is my world in many ways. And maybe it’s yours too.
If you have ever experienced an uptick of emotions, intrusive thoughts, sudden memories, flashbacks, weird (or maybe familiar but in an “ugh why are you back I thought I was done with you?” kind of way) bodily sensations, and disturbed sleep or freaky dreams -- you might be processing an upcoming traumaversary.
A whole slew of other things could also be happening, but for today, I’m going to focus on traumaversaries and what might come up when one is coming around.
We might experience:
⁍ Intrusive thoughts
⁍ Fixated, cyclical or obsessive thoughts
⁍ Memories and flashbacks
⁍ Big swells of feeling, including (but not limited to) grief, depression, irritation, and rage; feelings that overwhelm us; and feelings that change quickly
We might experience things on a body level because trauma can hang around in our body. We might experience anxiety and more busy-ness in our brains as we scramble to make sense of what’s happening, or outsmart danger. We might re-experience traumatic experiences in present time.
If you’re like: “yeah yeah, I already live with all that.” — I get it. For many survivors and folks living with complex trauma, these things can be the norm. And, when a trauma anniversary is around the corner, we might notice more of these things, an increase in intensity, and (everyone’s favorite): The Things We Thought We Were Done With.
Big sigh, and a moment of silence for every time we thought we were done with something and then it came back around to visit.
Here’s what can make Hard Things™️ even harder: we might not be conscious of an upcoming traumaversary when these things come up, and so it can feel not only shitty, but also overwhelming and confusing.
Friends, I want to support you in navigating these traumaversaries with as much care, grit, and grace as you can. And with a good plan - I am a Capricorn with Virgo placements, after all. (And the pandemic has made me plannier - so much feels out of my control and I do. not. like. it.)
I’ve been hinting at my latest project, and this is it! I wrote us 30+ pages all about traumaversaries, coping, and guidance for creating your own care plan. It’s validating and fiercely gentle, it’s psychoeducational with trauma-informed breaks, it’s part journal and part dear-friend-who-gets-it-because-they’ve-been-there. I tried my best to speak from my heart and hold space for your unique experience.
If this guide can make a shitty day even a little bit more bearable? I will be so happy. Because I have had these shitty days too, and I have needed a resource like this. And as usual, it doesn’t exist. And as usual, I stayed up way too late making it.
So here it is, for you, if you’d like to add Tending to Traumaversaries to your library.
Love you lots,
Jess