I got an email today that told me to close my eyes. It reminded me that many folks just don’t know that this can be re-traumatizing and an unsafe invitation. This is especially true when we are telling people: close your eyes. It sounds a bit commanding. Demanding. I don’t hear any choice in it. I don’t hear other options. I don’t hear that someone has the knowledge or awareness to know that this might not be a safe choice for me.
So today, I want to offer a reframe. There are so many ways to reframe this; this is just one option on one instagram square.
This phrasing can be more trauma-informed because it offers choice, options, and for the listener to tune in to their needs. It says: “if it feels right to you.” These words don’t assume that we know this person, their body, their nervous system, and their experiences better than they do. These words communicate: I trust your experience. I invite you to do what feels good and safe (or neutral) to you in this moment with your eyes and gaze. I invite you to check in with your own needs, desires and agency.
For some folx, closing their eyes can be relaxing and soothing. And that’s valid. For others, it can be re-traumatizing, panic inducing, and agitating. And that’s valid.
Here’s the thing: we don’t know, and we don’t always need or get to. But knowing what we might not know, we can offer options. Here’s to doing that.